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Say yes or die.

I'm weird. Very weird. I can't even hate people. I always knew I was the one to represent The Good Life.

Nothing but the good life..

Thinking back of my childtime, I never afforded the bravery to say no. I couldn't find any explanation and I'm still owed one while sitting here writing. Even the attempt fails each time I try. And you can tell that I've tried thousands and thousands times. 

You're asking me why, I'm asking you why not.

How could anyone say no? That sounds so ridiculously lame to me. Yes is a nice word indeed. Yes for President. 

Telling you about my my problem makes me sick. Not that it's because I hate talking about myself, but that you get the approval that proves my humanity. Human beings are weak - and so am I, but I kinda made it to a main task of my life not to show that. I like being admired - sometimes. How can you admire someone who can't say no? The word itself 'N-O' is easier to pronounce than 'Y-E-S'. 

Well, I could also say 'Oh, I'm something like a superhero. I always choose the long and hard way' - just to justify my cause. But that'd be a lie. Lying is not my business. I like being mysterious, but if you ask your questions directly, you can be sure my answers will be true. As true as they can be. Building walls around me is much too exhausting - so you won't mistake it when I explain why it's so important to stick to the truth.

But sticking to the truth means confessing that 'Yes' is always the easier way.. You cannot hurt anyone with yes. No's always cause disappointments and useless conversations. And I'm always glad to avoid that.. The whole thing is associated with the whold Good Life issue mentioned at the very beginning:

Well, it's not a lie, but neither the whole truth. I am able to hate people. I'm just not able to speak that out to the involved people's faces. That sometimes I will never be able to change. 

Take care what you ask of me. I won't say no.
(Was thatan contradiction in itself? Yes.)

12.6.09 21:09


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Collapse and Collision

Waking up, falling asleep. It's one of the few circles in life we cannot escape from.

 

We're all brave enough to complain - oh yes, our life's miserable at it's best, we all spend too much time feeling hurt and betrayed.

I got my reasons, you got yours. Sure, we all think we're Jesus, somehow. I don't really know how to explain, but no one of us is brave enough to confess or admit that we cannot change the way we feel. We're all addicted to our social environment. Some of us were being raped, some of us rape. The difference is so small..

 

Come, fly with me, we're the same, or we'd finally end up like millions of other people before. We spend our whole life living and getting along with everything and everyone. But why do I keep on trying and trying and trying? Follow me, fly with me and collapse. I can show you how to make things easier. Can you make me easier? Dare it, trust me. Human beings like us weren't made to make their existance too complicated. There are some things we don't have to understand. 

And with nothing left to be ahead then, we'll finally feel rested. At least I hope so..

12.6.09 12:29





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